Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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