why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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