Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I think a kid would responsible me up
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
