I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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