no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
