she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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