on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
