i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
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