I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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