I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
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