why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
