get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
