I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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