I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
