Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
The struggles of a small town man whore
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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