i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
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