Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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