Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
