So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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