Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
