Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
