ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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