Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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