She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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