She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
He shit in the fireplace
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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