walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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