2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
