I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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