Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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