Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Randomize
