They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
They are going to name an STD after you.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
