the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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