just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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