There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
