it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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