i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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