But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Randomize
