I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
it was like eating out sand paper
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
