you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
