No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
