Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
