I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
