Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
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