a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
