you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
