So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
