Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
