alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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