me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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