I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
