I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
